Are we paying enough attention...for ourselves and others?
/Let me be clear about my intent in sharing; it’s helpful for me to slow down and write, so maybe helpful for others which of course is open for you to decide. Plus, I always try and practice what I believe - bringing the personal into the professional because Leadership - it’s personal!
The announcements and getting to grips in the UK with a complete mixture of hope with new vaccines, changes to advice, policy and now total lock-down again hit home, literally! Bringing into collision for me:
Safety and my Year 11 daughter’s mental struggle with no mocks in January. Having worked so hard to revise Jo jumps between relief of no exams and “of course they will be sensible in how they assess us for our GCSEs ” to “what if they don’t treat us fairly...this is my future!”
Everyone I work with and support facing relentless pressure like never before, coping as best as they can, yet often not taking the time to work through their own ‘shit’. Or worse, not able or not wanting to ask for help, underestimating the damage or impact on themselves and others.
‘Surviving’ through keeping going, problem solving and being practical. Yes, we need to function, but it can mask us paying vital attention to what we are experiencing personally, the need to talk things out, or simply get some release!
I want to be responsive and available on screen to connect and work in-depth and at pace with people. But the energy is different, and I experience the extremes of long but productive days where I know I’m making a difference, versus radio silence, feeling helpless and the true impact of isolation.
Then back round to my family and the yo-yo of emotions with my 17-year-old son who should be forging ahead with his plumbing apprenticeship but has had 10months with no employer. Sometimes he buys into my reassurance that things will be OK they will just take longer, alongside hours of him cutting off and retreating to his Xbox, which changes him!
All of which brings me to - so what?
Make time for you and connect with those who give you a little of what you need, often!
It makes me think about all of the words and press around compassionate leadership and the importance for all of us in working out ‘what that actually means’! And I’m not referring to the various models which are helpful and stimulate important conversations, but where to start with yourself?
For me, I believe we need to:
Notice our own reactions and when we are being ‘triggered’
Make time for ourselves despite pressure; talking to someone/different people for a little of what we need but often. Whether seeking advice and challenge or just someone to listen
Not being beyond stripping things back to basics, exploring different ways of coming at what’s going on that help us to reflect on our practice and have greater impact
In essence trying to do all of this ‘stuff’ alone isn’t possible and isn’t kind to ourselves or others. I’m certainly not afraid to reach out or share, always work in progress!
Take care everyone and reach out if you need.
